Am I wrong for thinking my boyfriend is being sorry and lazy?

Me and my boyfriend have been living together for about a year and a half now. we've just moved into our own place about five months ago. When we first started dating he was really sweet we would go out to eat somewhere or to the movies or to the park or just ride around town or whatever. He made sure we always did something together at least once or twice a week. Now we never go anywhere. Im always stuck in the house while he's at work or out at the basketball court and I'm bored. When I ask him can we go out to eat he says we don't have the money to do that. So I ask well can we go to the park and spend some time together away from the house. he says he's tired from work. so i say ok. ill wait a week or two then i'll ask again. it's the same answer. So one day i asked him why we don't do the things we use to do and he says because we don't have the money. So I tell him it doesn't take money to go out somewhere and spend time with each other away from the house. He says uh gas money. So I say well it takes gas money to go to the basketball court and he says its right around the corner. So i say well the park is right around the corner too. He says well i'm tired tonight so i'll take you tomorrow so tomorrow comes and he acts like he forgets and that he has so much on his mind. Not only does he not spend time with me anymore but he doesn't like to handle his own business he'll either send me his mom or his sister to do it and i'm like how old are you? why don't you handle your own business? then he just gets mad and says well i wont ask you anymore. he never cleans up after his self i'm always the one who's doing it or his mom or sister. Then when i tell him about it he says that i leave messes too and i say yeah but who cleans them up? I do! and who cleans up yours? I do! then he gets mad and says no you don't i clean up my own mess. which is a total lie because hes never at home. hes either at work at the basketball court sleep or playing video games. I ask him does he love me anymore and he says he does and when i cry about it he says he'll do better and he does for a couple weeks then its back to the same way. When these things come up and his sister has to clean after him or do his business she looks at me and tells me your man is sorry. that's my brother but he is sorry and lazy. he acts like he can't do anything his self I always cook clean wash and run errands. i know i don't pay the bills and all that true enough. but that doesnt excuse the fact that he should help out too does it? Everybody is having hard times now except rich people abd everybody is having trouble making ends meet probably and everybody is tired from work. but i know people that work longer hours than he does and they still come home and handle business. basicly if its something he wants to do he has the money and the energy to do it but if its something i want to do he doesn't. What am I suppose to do with that? His mom says the same thing. I love him with all my heart and he loves me but i think hes sorry and lazy too. Hes very stubborn and doesn't want to listen to me when I tell him stuff. So what should I do? I don't know what to say to him anymore. I feel like giving him a taste of his own medicine so he'll see how i feel when he does it to me. But I know that's probably taking the childish route.Am I wrong for thinking my boyfriend is being sorry and lazy?
Lol- that sounds like my husband! You just can't change people...I mean I guess he tries for a while to shut you up, but in the end he reverts and I don't think ';giving him a taste'; of it will help. If he is as hardheaded as he seems, he won't care, because staying the way he is is more important to him than changing for you. Move on before you get hurt more.Am I wrong for thinking my boyfriend is being sorry and lazy?
He sounds depressed.
you were in the wrong.
Maybe he needs help. My advise to you is 'never leave your partner especially in a fire'
I think the only thing you are wrong for is staying with him. Once they get in this pattern they never get out. He is reverting back to childhood. Kick him to the curb.
Spend some money on him, take him out for a meal and make him feel wanted instead of mooching off him and not paying any bills.





I appreciate that he is in the wrong over not cleaning up after himself, but coming home from work to face even more work is a terrible feeling.





I imagine he spends his free time playing sport and games to take his mind off the thought of another long day at work.





Living together can create problems too. Often your partner becomes a part of the background because they are always there; the partner becomes a commodity instead of someone to share life with.





Is there anyway you can see less of each other? Perhaps hang out with some of your other friends or get a (second?) job? Maybe even spend the weekends living with your parents? Seeing less of each other will make the time that you do spend together all the more special.
I say u only have one life to live be happy. If he not showin u a good time and makin u happy some other guy will girl.
Maybe giving him a taste of his own medicine is being childish, but he is being totally childish!! Sounds like he's never had to live on his own (away from his mommy %26amp; sister) %26amp; actually do things for himself. I know a guy who is gonna turn out like this %26amp; it just kills me b/c it's only gonna cause him problems.





Understand that the basketball is probably a stress release for him. That's why he does it. Find something you can do together that would be a stress release!





%26amp; why don't you take some initave and plan a night out for you two.





Bottom line, your going to have to sit him down %26amp; just point blank tell him that you are miserable. %26amp; if he doesn't do anything about it, (a sincere apology %26amp; genuine lasting change,) then he the one for you. Be genuine with your feelings and open to compromise.
Wow...we must be living parallel lives lol. I'll bet that before you came into the picture, he had someone clean up after him, cook for him, and take care of everything else. When I met my bf his mom did everything for him. Now I am the one taking care of him. Your bf is comfortable and secure and he is used to being taken care of. You just have to come to terms with it. If ts really bothering you then maybe you should try getting a job or doing community work or something to take you out of the house. For me I know my bf is spoilt but I can't call him lazy considering he goes to work everyday but since I started taking the inititive to go out by myself, more than ever he has started joining me.





Try it.
I guess you're just going to have to play hard ball with him. No sex until he takes you out. I mean, I don't know how you can get the point across other than that. Maybe you should ask a relationship specialist to get him to take you out.





Oh yeah, and next time add some paragraphs to your question.
Put your foot down show him your serious if he dont go out of his way to make you happy then you shouldnt be with him take a break and go hang with the girls have a girls night show him that if he out with guys your going to give him a taste of his own medicine dont cook or clean after him clean after yourself and as it builds up he will realize how much he should appreciate you before he loses you for good. you gotta threatin like that show him that its not ok to do that
i suggest all u can do is really jus be there for him and LISTEN to him. if u keep telling him to do things this way or that way he will get irritated. i understand how annoyin and immature it can be. but slowly he will realize it and learn it too. he has his mom to push him, so don't push him even harder. talk to him and make him understand. guys like these really don't understand..and sometimes its best to leave them alone so they can realize things.
no ur not wrong for thinking that because he is sorry and lazy .......but hes doing what hes doing because ur letting him. you need to put ur foot down tell him that hes making you unhappy and miserably. tell him he not who he was when you first met. and tell him that if he doesn't change you don't no how much longer you two will last together. and if ur a religious person you should pray about it and even if ur not just try it because it Works.
Drop him, he's no good. You did nothing wrong. You may not work, but it isn't just about that, is it? He doesn't have time for you as a couple, which means he doesn't hold your relationship in high priority.
You're nagging him. You might not notice it but I can guarantee that behavior goes hand in hand with it. And honestly in those situations its hard to tell which started first. Honestly, just leave him alone for a week or so and see if his behavior improves. Men tend to start caring when you stop caring.

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