How do you forget about someone you raised as your own for 19 years?

Alright, I'll make it kinda short for ya. When my husband and I got married, I was 17,my husband was 20, and we had a five month old son of our own. He had an illigitament child named Ashley, age 3. Over the next couple of months, Ashley and I became attatched to each other. She would tell her grandmother{her mother's mom)everything we did together, what I had bought her, what type of games we play....but soon after that, she was referring me to ';Mommy';. Well, I sat hr down one day and told her that I wasn't really her Mother,that I was just a step-mother,but I still unconditionally loved her just as much as I did Tyler(my son),and asked her nicely just to call me Wendy because it just wasn't right.From the time she was born, she lived with her Mother's Mom and step-dad until she was 14 years old.We got her all summer, half the holidays,and every other weekend.';I'; bought ALL her school clothes every year,school supplies, book bags,and ANYTHING else that she might need.Her Daddy wasn't mean to her,but he would give her a good spanking when she needed it.He treated Tyler the same.But ANYONE who knew Tim(my husband) knew he was always closer to Tyler....Until our fraturnal twin girls were born, Up until this day, and they are 10 years old now, the 2 of them were ';His Little Ladies';.Ashley and I stayed really close up until her mother took over custody of her when she was 14 years older! She lived with me and my family when she was 16 years old for about 6 months, then her and her father got into a fuss and she said that her father was nothing but a sperm donor,and that he had never really been a father to her her entire life,so he slapped her jaws right then and then gave her his cell to call someone to pick her and her qoute: ';****'; up right then and there! No-One in her Mom's family cared enough about her to come get her because he kicked her out,so she ended up having her boyfriend to come get her.He took her to his house, and she stayed with him and his mother until now.She's now 19 years old with a baby,HS dropout,no job, living in a mobile home living off of him and the government. We stayed close until she called me and announced that she was pregnant. She said that her dad was gonna be a granfather,her brother was gonna be an uncle, and the twin girls will be aunts.....hmmmmm. What's wrong with that sentence? She completely and purposely left me out of the family as if I was ';no-one';.That hit me really hard.We haven't spoke much after that conversation.I would hear things through Tim's family about how her and her mother were closer than ever now, and she forbids letting me keep the child sometimes, even for a couple of hours because she hates her father. That's selfish. Why punish me and my kids for something that we have nothing to do with? She never calls or anything.So I've quit calling and I really miss my grandson. I really do think of him as being my actual grandchild.I have seen him 3 times in 6 months only when we ran into her at my in-laws house.What could be wrong? What did I do wrong? Up until she left at age 16, I rovided everything she needed, as well as my husband paying child support with 3 other kids to raise,took her to the doctor EVERY time she was sick and took care of her until she was better, I also took her EVERYWHERE I took my other kids,and I WAS there for her.....her mother sure never was.Anyway, I could say tons more things, but I alredy fel bad for my ';long'; short story.LOL! But if someone can just give me an idea of what happened I would deeply appreciate it! Thanks to all of you in advance! :)How do you forget about someone you raised as your own for 19 years?
so where were u when he kicked her out? this is so tragic. i understand that he was hurt by her saying him those words, but she was a dumb teenager and he was a mature man with 4 kids! and u were a mature woman. u both acted wrong (u and your husband) and she can not and will not ever forgive u. she became a school drop out and ruined her entire life. all because of her father and u. cos if u cared about her that much u should have stopped him from kicking her out. this is the idea what happened - she will never forgive u for what u did.How do you forget about someone you raised as your own for 19 years?
You acted like her mother, but told her when she was like 4 you weren't her real mom and to call you Wendy after you had been treating her like your own and allowing her to call you mommy.....





this girl has a royally screwed up child hood... it's to be expected.....
As you said in your question, you raised this child as your own. You do not want to forget. Have faith that when its time, the child will make its own attempt to contact you, and in the mean time understand you were good to the child and did all you could.





Hope that helps, I'm sorry I didn't really read your explanation in depth but I answered this the best I truly could.