Hook up but not quite relationship ...

okay.. so i met this guy big flirtttt... 2 months ago (beginning of summer)from a friend and we all have hung out together like every day this summer mostly with other people not just me and him hardly ever...i like him so much and we hook up and have sex and stuff like a boyfriend and girlfriend would..hes sOO fun to hang around with but i dont want to get that confused with starting a relationship with this guy.. bc im really not sure if i should..but it bad tho that i question myself sometimes when im with him and say does he really care about me like he says or is he just bullshitting me? like..it seems like he treats me good when he wants to and everything is on his time or about him.. but hes treated me like **** before for example.. he would flirt with his ex in front of me i tihnk its mostly her bc she is a ***** but he still does it when he knows it makes me mad..and ive cried before about stupid **** with his ex and how he was making me feel one night at a party with her and everyone bc i didnt want to stay bc she was being a ***** ...at first he didnt like comfort me or anything. but then he was like just stay overr...like its all about what he wants.. but anyways..








so last week he had to go out of town and the day before he left we were supposed to hang out..i told him we should meet for dinnner or something after he got back from tailgaiting.. but i ended up telling him that i wasnt very hungry but i still wanted to see him before he left..so he called me like late that night after he left the concert to go to this kids house ..i couldnt really go out cuz it was already late and plus it was far where he was even though i wanted to see him..(oh and his ex was there at the concert and stuff and at the kids house bc all her best friends date his best friends and stuff so they always hang out ) and by the way..im not worried about them bc he doesnt like her anymore ..he thinks shes a ***** and shes talking to one of his best friends.. but anyways.. he was drinking and stuff that night and told me his phone was dead he called me from his exs phone twice.. and she ended up getting on the and was like ';come overrr hereeeeeeeeee'; it just pissed me off and it was the fact that he would even give her the phone ya know? like he wanted to make me mad on purpose.. and he was saying stupid stuff cuz he was drunk like you dont even wanna see eme before i leave?? ..still made me feel like ****.. but idk.. he always seems to have an excuse for everything like oh she grabbed the phone from me while i went to go play beer pong or oh i was drunk i didnt know what i was saying..like NOTHING is ever his fault.. like he says i never call him or i never wanna hang out with him its always him to ask to hang out and stuff and that if he didnt ask we wouldnt even hang out. i still go and hang out w/ him so why is he upset? %26amp; it makes sense when its convienient for him bc he lives like 25 min. away but his friend lives by me and we always hang out anyways when he goes to his house..he says stuff like you have only came to drive and see me like twice and stuff like that..or he say something like yeah i go to his house but the only reason is to see you..and its not like hes the only one that calls me tho.. its just when i do call him it takes him like an hour or so to call me back or text me back..(i think hes trying to play hard to get) so i have done it back to him a few times like saying im busy or whatever and sorry i missed your call..he like doesnt let me ever talk and if i do its wrong what i say like it doesnt matter about my feelings.. i just dont like the way he acts toward me sometimes and think ..do i deserve better than this? its like hes all talk no action ya know? like hes such a good swwet talker.. i mean.. if someone really cared about you and really liked you they wouldnt even make you have ANY bad feelings at all or make you feel unsure or anything..am isnt it bad that im noticing these things?? i just dont know what to do.and i dont think he just wants a hookup ..even though it pisses me off when he asks me to have sex with him at the most random times like either when we are talking or just talked about something serious.. i mean i love hooking up with him dont get me wrong bc i like him so much and we have fun together ..but i just dontt know why it even took him so long to ask me out and i would think he would do it by now you know? and while he was out of town .. i texted him like this 12 page text telling him how i felt so good when im with him and that i would love to be with him and to get ssome balls and ask me out already and im sick of waiting..(thats how i really felt at that moment..) and hes like okay thats all i wanted to know letts make this work.... but like it was the whole like texting back and calling thing that got me thinking .. i mean i know hes out of town and stuff and busy but the next day he was doin the whole waiting to text me back thing or not calling me..i just was started thinking about ya know? maybe hes not even worth it like.. i should be happy all the time. instead i started thinking about all the times hes treated me where i felt i didnt matter to him...so i ended up telling him two days later just how i felt about him not treating me like i should and with respect and he like basically was begging me to be with him and was like i like you so much and you dont know how bad i want this to work out.. i told him i was like i just dont think its there.. i dont think we are meant to be in a realtionshipp..(even tho i just told him to ask me out already and stuff) idk why i said that ..thats what pissed him off the most..hes like how can you change your mind so quickly?? do you think that was wrong of me? i mean.. its how i was really feeling at the time but i just thought about it and decided i didnt know if i was sure it would work out... so he kept on convincing me and stuff to change my mind and to try and keep it going how its been going. he ended up telling me ';oh i was planning on asking you out the day i got back or i was planning on asking you out a while ago but i just wanted to make sure it was THERE and that you felt the same bout me..'; im like.. wow.. so noWW that i bring something up about it you say you were guna ask me out.. i dont get that.. so i told him we can just see how it goes and keep talking and maybe something will work then as long as you show me that you care about me and stuff and treat me like a girlfriend.. so he got back from out of town lastnight.. we ended up hanging out i could tell me was trying to act different and show me that he really cared and stuff in front of everyone.. and we talked outside for like almost the whole night.. %26amp; i noticed like while i was talking to him there was so many things going through my mind like sometimes i would think he was being for real and others i was just like omg your such a sweet talker im not stupid ya know? he kept saying like its so hard for me you dont even know bc idk how you feel exactly and i know where hes coming from and stuff i mean.. im even confused myself..(and i always have had communication problems with everyone even my family.... i just cant explain the way i feel or i dont wanna hurt someone or tell them whats going on or talk about anything.. i keep it all inside..i hate that..) but he was like tell me how you really feel and stuff and i was trying i was telling him how much i like him and stuff and i want it to be there..but if im getting this feeling inside thats telling me i dont wanna do this then obvisouly im not gunna try to make something work that isnt there ..and hes like well like you said ( i did say this a couple days before) that the only way we will find out is if we ARE together and hes like i will show you and i would care about you so much more if we go out.. im sitting there thinking ';well isnt that how you should of beeen acting all along, even though we are just talking and arent going out..you should still treat me right and treat me like you care about me just like i am your girlfriend if you like me as much as you say'; ... so i ended up telling him i was like i just dont know.... i started crying and said i just think we are better off as friends.. and he was so upset..and was like your not gunna even give me a chance?? i just said im not gunna lead you on and keep saying oh it might work out bc honestly i just dont think its there andd how i want it to be ...so then i left..








but .. i honestly think i wanna find someone better.. but i DO LIKE HIM A LOT.. i have strong feelings for him and i feel bad for hurting me ..i hate hurting people.. hes like your just gunna throw everything away that we have had these past couple of months?? i feel bad bc yeahh we have had so manyyy good times together.. and i just dont know what to doooo!! should i give him another chance?? to show me he can act different toward me? or have i changed my feelings too much? i just dont think i know what i want its so hard for me.. im about to start my senior year too ....andddd im a cheerleading capt. and idk im just gunna be so busy.. im so confused.. i like him but idkkkkkk! do i deserve better? do i not want a relationship? is he for real about everything? do i want him to be someone that he cant? so many things are going through my headddd. i guess its also wierd for me and i told him this that i never have had this relationship with any othe guys before..like usually guys i start talking to ..we go out on dates..they meet my parents and stuff.. but its different.. me and him hooked up like right when we met.. its just been kinda like a summer fling..i mean i wanted it to be like it has been with other guys i wanted to get close to him..(oh thats another wierd thing ..we know about each other but like if you think about it we dont really even know each othr as much as we think we do.. he like never wants to know anything about me or ask me about my past or just be close and talk about like stuff to get to knoww me...i mean. i would like a guy to be curious too sometimes..but it just seems like he doesnt care about that its wierd..thats what made me think it was just a hookup the whole time.. i know he really has feelings for me tho.. what should i do??? just friends????? Hook up but not quite relationship ...
wow, this is BY FAR the longest question i have EVER read on here. i say leave him alone and get a guy that wants to be with u as much as u wanna be with him. he sounds like he is using u and only wants to hook up ocasionally. u deserve better.