What is wrong with my boyfriend? More than just depression?

Since I have met my boyfriend I have known he was a little odd (obviously, he's dating me). I knew he was sometimes depressed, but more recently I have begun to wonder if he has more serious issues than just depression.





He grew up in a poor environment, he was repeatedly molested when he was younger yet his parents kept him in the same house with the family member who molested him. His whole family was psychologically abusive, he was told it was okay to lie when it served your purpose and was constantly manipulated. His father is a drug addict and was physically abusive. He had anger issues when he was younger and went to counseling but I think it only taught him how to better manipulate others. He was also recently sexually assaulted. He's 19 now and he has various signs that suggest something not right with his mental state (to me at least).





My boyfriend is a previous poly-substance abuser, he basically did anything he could get his hands on. He is a pathological liar and he's delusional. He lies to people about even the smallest things, and he's actually convinced himself that he's done some of the things he lies about. He's kind of childish in this regard and tries to justify his lying. It's actually very strange, some of the things he thinks he's done are insane, yet even when I try to explain that to him he says he just can't convince himself otherwise because it seems real to him. He used to torture small animals and he liked to start things on fire. Not that many times but he has told me that he started a trash can on fire once, and smaller things if I remember correctly. He was always in trouble at school and in high school he skipped class a lot and only graduated because he's actually very intelligent, he just plays dumb. He's also very manipulative, he will convince people of things and tell them what they want to hear to get his way. He told me if he hurts anyone he doesn't really care and he doesn't usually feel bad. He said anyone he considers a friend he doesn't really care about, he just uses them to either get what he wants or because - despite hating most people - he does not like to be alone all the time because he gets lonely. He does usually want to be alone when he's not with me though. He's never cheated on me or anyone else, he is very sexually promiscuous though, before we dated he usually only had one-night stands or only dated people for a week, he said this is because I'm the only person he's ever met that he's actually wanted to sleep with more than once, for whatever weird reason. Also, he is almost constantly aroused, to the point where he is embarrassed. Also he is often depressed, he tries to hide it but he zones out for long periods of time and his face is sometimes very grim. He is very secretive but at the same time is willing to tell everything about himself. A lot of this is made up but I feel like he does it to get approval from others. So he's secretive in a way that he won't really tell you about himself and never lets anyone get close, but he'll lie like there's no tomorrow and make people think they know him. I suspect it's also a defense mechanism like, why would you tell the truth to random strangers when you can't even trust your own family, who are supposed to be closest to you? He also has a terrible memory (possibly due to all the drugs), and has difficulty completing tasks, important or otherwise. He often misinterprets what I say, and he has a very hard time explaining what he means.





I know it sounds stupid but I honestly don't think he's a bad person, we argue sometimes but he's never violent, he's very sweet and he cares a lot about myself and my daughter and often goes out of his way to help us and do things for us; he doesn't even care about his own family that much. He told me he doesn't even love them. As far as I can tell I think he wants to, but whatever makes you really love somebody is just not there for him for the most part.





*Also, I know a lot of his actions seem to contradict themselves, but this is how he is.





If anyone knows what might be wrong with his head please let us know!What is wrong with my boyfriend? More than just depression?
I also come from an abusive family and was molested. I can relate too a lot of what you describe. It is terrible what some parents and families put children through.I'm not sure how much you have invested in this guy or how much you really feel for him.Growing up like that it is hard not too lie because reality is so painful.You find yourself day dreaming of another life.Your self esteem gets kicked around so much that you end up feeling you don't deserve anything and that you are different than other people.You feel that socially there is something wrong with you.I have a hard time trusting .It is very hard for me too feel comfortable in a relationship so sometimes I feel I purposely screw things up because I am more familiar with that situation and have more control. I often initiate sex as a means of feeling love. Being a woman I know it is hard for men to not in the moment treat me as I am important to them. In a sick twisted way it is a substitute for love.If you plan on going forward with the relationship you will need counseling for both of you. You seem very caring and smart. It takes a special person to survive in this sort of relationship .Ask yourself if you want too put yourself and child through it.If you don't think you can just please let him down easy.It will be hard for him not to see you as another person who walked away. He will feel he is not worthy of anyone. Good luck !What is wrong with my boyfriend? More than just depression?
you answered most of the questions yourself, ok drugs will affect him the past will do same, get him to see dr to deal with issues from past this will help him believe me you will see change don't be afraid to talk to him about past this will help also mike uk
Psychological trauma can manifest itself in many different ways. I'm sure the substance abuse didn't help much, either. He should talk to a psychologist.
The perfect sociopath
he needs professional help ASAP!!