Are these signs of an abusive boyfriend?

Just want to start off by saying, I dont think my boyfriends abusive but both my parents and my friends dont like him and think that this is the start of an abusive relationship. SO Im asking you guys.





Im 14 and my boyfriends 15. Im crazy about him and from what I can tell, hes crazy about me.


He always tells me how much he loves me and that Im beautiful and sexy and everything sweet you could possibly think of. He tells me he wants to marry me when were old enough and he wants to be with me forever. One time he told me that if I ever dumped him he would kill himself and hes really protective of me.


Hes a pretty violent kid to be honest, he gets into fights a lot with other boys and takes boxing and judo. Sometimes he slaps me around a bit when were playing around. He doesnt do it very hard and hes not trying to hurt me, as I said, were just playing around. Apparently he thinks its funny that his best friend punched his girlfriend in the face.


He calls me vulgar names and hurts my feelings a lot, but I guess thats just his sense of humour because he tells me hes only joking, but hes just as rude to me when hes actually mad - which is a lot.


He reads my conversations with my friends on msn and goes through my texts and gets really upset if I wont let him see me, but if I show him he usually gets mad at what I talk to my friends about. But I think thats just because he says he doesnt like them.





Personally, none of this really bothers me. The only thing that bugs me is that sometimes I wonder if he uses me for sexual stuff because he talks to a lot of other girls and always comments on how hot they are or whatever and if I complain about it he always tells me ';Oh you know your the only one for me';





I dont know, what do you think?Are these signs of an abusive boyfriend?
I think he is a dumbass. And you need to wake up.Are these signs of an abusive boyfriend?
Dump him! My best friend is dating a guy like that and im trying to help her get away from him, but she still thinks hes perfect. ITs just a matter of time before ur mom is calling 911 when she walks in and ur on the floor and ur boyfriends standing there with his fist raised. Trust me , it happens. Plz plz plz plz plz plz plz dump him. He isnt STARTING to be abusive, he IS
any boy, even when kidding, says rude things, is bad. it may not bother you, but it's wrong. trust me when I say this, I had to see enough people get abused through relationships, and it started JUST like this. please get out.
you really need to get out of this relationship. he's clearly really possessive and the way he calls you names, that's not right.
This is totally crazy
For the name calling:


Don't yoiu think he's acting a bit like a bully? I would not take any of the name calling from even my friends!
LEAVE HIM!!


I had a boyfriend like that.


It will get wworse, he needs help
I thnk you need you to find a aT to end things with him... He is bad news....
Okay, please listen to me, nobody else has experienced this, I have. I watched my sister get pregnant by a guy who was verbally abusive (that is what they call the vulgar name calling when used to hurt someone). When she told him she was pregnant, he punched her in the stomach and said ';It will be dead now';. He didn't really love her. These types of guys are sick and twisted and some of them grow up to rape girls. The facts are (I read A LOT of informative articles, please believe me) that dating abuse has gone up in recent years and we need to put a stop to this. He is abusing you physically when he ';playfully slaps you around';. It will get harder and more violent. Please tell a counselor at your school and ask to be put in a safe place (have family and friends watch over you). If you dump him, he may hurt you or himself, so please protect yourself. There is a program at my school called ED (Emotional Disturbance). If he is proven to be abusing you, he should be put in a behavior monitoring program like that, most counties and states have those classes. The facts are that he will hurt you and you could end up really hurt. If he found punching as girl funny, what could he do to you? Call this number if you aren't convinced it is abuse (tell them your story and they will help):1-866-331-9474


the website: http://www.loveisrespect.org/
I did a project on abusive relationships for school a few months ago, and this is basically like a description of almost every kind of ';signs'; there are. But at the same time, just like you said, it's very hard to know, especially when there isn't a completely clear boundary between ';just playing around'; and actual abuse.





It seems to me like this isn't an abusive relationship, just one where the guy is a bit more controlling than he should be. But you want to make sure you confront him about it and pay attention to when the over-controlling can become too-controlling or even abusive, because when one person has a lot of power in a relationship sometimes they take advantage of that power. Don't ignore your parents and friends since they're just trying to look out for you, but at the same time it is YOUR life after all, you just need to make sure you're still in full control of it. If something ';abusive'; does happen, though, confront him immediately, and if it continues to happen, dump him. You don't deserve that kind of crap.





Hope I helped, and good luck [=
Yes. First, he EMOTIONALLY abuses you.


I read in Seventeen that a red flag and sign of abuse is when they say they'd kill themselves if you broke up with them. They want you tied down.


He reads your personal texts, ehem?!





Look, this kid is trouble. Run. Fast.


The longer you stay with him, the worse it'll get, TRUST ME.


You will get yourself into deep shiaatt.





The sole fact that he thinks it's funny to hit girls would make me not want to be with someone like that.


If you are truly worried about him, get him help, but don't let him be your problem anymore.





Sure, the good times are good, but the bad times defeat it all.





You and I both know that, and so do your parents. 95% of the time they can truly tell.





Your doubt is coming through, and there are so many reg flags in this situation, and signs of abuse already.
OMG my bf was just like that and i let the situation get really bad... he almost killed me... me, parker (bf), and one of my friends rusty were sitting in the back of my truck and we had a trailor hooked up to it. and i was in the middle of the boys sitting up and they were laying down. parker leaned foward and pushed me, i lost my balance, and he was going to let me fall. thankfully rusty was there, cause he caught me or else i would have hit my head on the trailor hitch. Parker was 14 and me and rusty were 13.
really i dont think he is a good boyfriend your parents are right its true that sometimes you parents can see what you can't in a boy but yes if he calls you vulgar mean names he thinks it funny that his friend punched a girl in the face thats not good if he wasnt mad about that then thats not good and he sounds kinda controlling just think if you married him he could become abusive. if it gets worse just get out if he kills himself it is his own fault and not yours he's just probably saying that to make sure that you don't leave. good luck though! btw im 14 to
okay i know that i am going to sound rude, but he is definitly bad news. you need to get rid of him with help. because he sounds very abusive. it may be tough, but he is almost definitly using you for you body. you seem like a great person, so i'm sure that you deserve better than that jerk. you need to tell an adult the next time he hits you.. even iof he says hes kidding. this is very important because it will only get worse from here.


good luck.
Yes he is abusive, he's a jackass, a douche bag, and a prick. You need to leave him asap. Tell your mother about this and I would suggest getting a restraining order against him because it could get serious, TRUST me you do not want to deal with someone beating you then having to deal with the court system and all of that (because from what it sounds like it could be leading to that). Like I said though, talk to your mom and go down to either the court house or the police station to talk about getting a restraining order. Good luck.
Leave him now!!!! Classic signs of abusiveness. I know as I have been there done that and left every single one of them that were like that. Now I have a wonderful man who treats me with respect, would never hit me, certainly would not think someone hitting their gf was funny, would not call me names (rarely only if we are in a fight and nver if we weren't fighting) Spying on you is wrong!!! Run don't walk Run away and find someone who will be nice to you!!!





See all of us are NOT wrong!!! Your parents love you and are only looking out for you like they will your whole life.