How to explain this. My boyfriend has an interesting personality. He can be really sweet at times but then he can call me mean things like lard ***,fatty,stupid,etc. ((I know i'm not fat. I excersice everyday my bmi is fine, and what not but one can only take it so much. he's been saying it almost everyday for the last 5months.)) Anyways, he says it as a joking way. he even says it. even when I said ';ya know it's kind of getting to me when yo usay this....'; and what not. and he's like ';I was just kidding. laugh more.';
But on the other hand I know he cares about me. like a few weeks ago he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he had this freaky dream of losing me and told me he's always going to have feelings for me no matter what happens. And he realizes he treats me kind of bad. But whenever he says he needs to treat me better I always say ';no your fine.'; It just comes out because I don't want him to change his personality for me. And another thing is he wants to be a comedian. But can't do any gigs or whatever till he's 21. so until then everyday he plays video games for hours and hours and I just sit there. It's so rare when me and him go out and do something together. I still spend time with him. but when he's playing video games with his friends.
Anyways, a week ago I was kind of moody and was basically like ';It seems you don't care about me sometimes.'; and he looked hurt. He was just like ';I'm trying so hard. and you can't see or even accept my feelings.'; and then I feel bad afterwords. ~ _ ~ I'm so confused! But his longest relationship was three months. we are almost on 8. And apparently he's surprising me on my birthday with whatever I want to do and a bunch of other things. so like I said. I know he cares about me. But...the insults are seriously bugging me. and putting me down.
And like he's the only one that understands me the most. Everyone else doesn't know my family life. Everyone else doesn't know my sad side. I only let them see my happy side and without even trying he saw the truth in me and what not. and all that jazz. He's a sweet guy. Just....yeah.
((just to prove i'm not fat...so no one's like HE';S HINTING YOUR FAT.))
Weight:130lbs
Pants size:7
Height: 5ft 5.5inches
Age:19Boyfriend insulting me.?
Well it's good that he cares about you and he's doing really nice things for you, but just let him know how much it hurts you when he calls you those things. I'm sure he'll stop once he understands how hurt you are :)
good luck! :)Boyfriend insulting me.?
well tell him you hate when he says those things and if he says hes sorry and that he'll change...let him.
he wontt change if he thinks what he is doing is okay with u..he sees no point in it if in his mind everything is going perfectly
Even if you were 'fat' (and you are not, as indicated by a size 7 pant size) why is he judging you on your weight? Sounds like he's controlling and just plain mean. Dump him.
thats interesting that he first insults u and then is really nice 2 u and cares about u. he really does mean well but he doesnt kno that he's going 2 far when he's joking. tell him that is really bugs u and dont be silly at all. u really mean it! and if he takes it lighty start 2 get a little mad. that should work cause if my gf did that 2 me i would shape up ASAP!
He's inconsiderate and he is mean. You are using excuses to justify his behavior. Time will make him worse but in the end only you can decide what it is that you want. Stop down playing his insults. You hate them but yet in order to spare his feelings just suck it up and say it's no big deal. You cater to his behavior. Even comediennes have souls and know when to stop. If you want him around you need to establish boundaries.
Tell him its really bugging you. My boyfriend was exactly the same, but he didn't call me fat. He used to always call me a cabbage and it was funny at first but it got anoying and i told him, but he didn't stop it, he just doesn't say it as much lol.
okay, girl for one don't play that victim game ';you don't care about me sometimes'; that will really drive a man crazy. in a way i believe he does care about you, but not enough to keep negative comments to himself.
for one, call you offensive names is NOT a joke. he should had the comment sense to know that words that deep would hurt you. he should have KNOWN. how can anybody Not!! there is nothing positive about being ';stupid';. The longer girls go through this, the more the problem will be, that's probably why 30% of girls are anorexic, because their knucklehead boyfriends always say such harsh things. but if YOU know that you're at the desired weight that you want to be, then you're fine!!!!!!!!!! there was no need to jot down your pants size and weight, that only means you're insecure about your weight.
you're just going to have to have a long talk with him. you can't change him, he has to change himself.
Why in the world would you want a bf that constantly insults you and plays video games with his friends for hours? He's doing all the taking and you're being the giver. He seldom takes you any place and you're content to take that? You're only 19 for goodness sake, you need fun. If he's wanting to be a commedian and his kind of jokes are making you feel bad about yourself, then he's not a good one. I think you're really coming to your senses about how this guy really is and I think you are wanting a change. That's exactly what you need--a different bf. This one only thinks of himself and if he's got a gf that goes along with it, he's going to keep her around . Believe me not many girls would take his kind of bull and especially the playing games for hours and never taking her any place. Get a back bone sweetie and dump him, because he's not going to change.
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