2. What's the definition of a will?(It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count
that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat
minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blown apart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia is the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which had never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd
dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate Clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
How about some word play? See if you can add to the list?
Those are great!!!
New twist on # 12:::
*The man who fell into an upholstery machine was reincarnated as an Ottoman Emperor.
*The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
*A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
*I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
*The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
*A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.How about some word play? See if you can add to the list?
I loved all the other responses too!!
These are FUN!!!
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If your gecko is broken, you have a reptile dysfunction.
When the cannibal showed up late for lunch, they gave him the cold shoulder.
Do glaziers have glass eyes?
Could a chicken playing football receive a yellow card for foul play?
Is matrimoney the right term for marriage?
What use are earwigs?
A hairdresser forced to close her shop due to development said ';Tint fair, this style of growth, just to make way for a short cut into town';.
31. There were leftovers when the cannibals ate the Reverend Enge. The next day, they found out that Rev Enge is a dish best served cold.
32. The pay for every fat cat tycoon is a bloated figure (plus a bonus). We wouldn't mind it so much, though, if they really had to use a golden parachute.
33. What did Monte Hall (Let's Make a Deal) say to the bullfighter? Pick a door, Picador
34. My wife is a TERRIBLE cook. She's the only one I know who really has a recipe for disaster.
35. When you are first learning to ride, stick with a try cycle.
36. Redundant poets write in reverse.
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37. If the Bartlett pears cantaloupe will they be raisin illegitimate fruit?
38. My father lost an extremity in the war. When he went to the second hand store for help he had to wait an hour before anyone gave him the time of day. They were alarmed by his condition and told him to beat it because there was no way they could lend him a hand... he'd have to buy one.
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