Why is it so hard?!!!!?

Why is it that every guy I date happens to disappoint at some point in time? Is there no man that wants commitment and truly understand commitment as I do? To me its seems easy you make sure your on time never make a promise u cant keep and make sure u follow up if plans change. Just like a regular job right? Besides that everything else falls into place the love the sex will always be great if u tend to your job as a “boyfriend.”





Ive had every kind of guy from the scared to commit to the committed liar. And honestly I'm in a relationship at this time with a 31 year old man who has never really had a longterm relationship. That is to stuck in his ways to listen or even compromise. I think this one will be over soon as well. I wander every so often what is it that makes guys convince themselves that a longterm relationship is what they want when they are not ready to be in one. Hmmm interesting right? But in all they are men and I do have to remind myself that guys are guys.





Being a 22 year old gay African American male with my standards are really hard. Sometimes I want to quit dating because it seems that what I ask for is too much and I may come off as controlling if I confront a guy about certain ways that annoy. For instance before I go into any further detail let me tell u my background. I'm a Leo very into family and relationships. I cook and love to clean plus I like to give massages to my man. I love video games very much its my past-time hobby. I don't go to clubs unless my friends beg me to. I do like to go to bars to get a drink every now an then but other than that I'm either working or at home.





To me that sounds like a dream guy these days anyway in the gay community. As far as what I ask from a guy hell just a honest upfront guy who doesn't mind doing the obvious. Which is a guy who is romantic doesn't mind making plans. Someone who is sweet and always on time when they make an appointment with me. And hell if he cant make it on time at least call me and don't have me waiting. A man who will put our relationship first before his ways or his dislikes. (ex. If I like video games and he doesn't he still will play with me because of the connection that can be gained through the experience.)





Thats about it and oh he cant be boring and too quiet. And honestly that sums it up. I don't judge guys I don't want your hair to be a certain way or anything. I have my limits but the are very bendable. Other than that I tolerate a lot it takes a lot for me to say “Hey!...It's over!” So answer this how come I struggle to find someone. I know I'm not the only one but can anyone offer up a good answer.Why is it so hard?!!!!?
Well I am a lesbian and it was like reading my own words reading what you wrote, I too have felt so often disappointed by girls i've dated...I always put a relationship as a priority in my life, being a good partner means putting that person first. But what I have discovered is that just because we would do that for them, does not mean they would do the same for you; when you get to that realization it's time to move on to someone who will appreciate what they have when they have you. I, too, search for someone who will give to me what I give to them. Also, you get out of a relationship what you put into it...so if they aint putting jack in that's exactly what they are getting out of it....one person can never carry the weight of the whole relationship and when you realize you are doing it all, it's time to move on.Why is it so hard?!!!!?
You know....I always believed, that if gets too often, then it may be my mistake, not theirs.
the road to finding your one true love is long, arduous and will leave you feeling disheartened. its a commonly known fact. on the off chance you do find your soul mate, you will know right off. also, i heard in a movie once, ';we like people for their qualities, but love them for their defects';






Ignore Bertha babe.





I know that in general..the gay male population is more promiscuous than any other orientation. Men are natural piqued by sex. Two men..and thats double the need for sex. Alot of people [not just men] dont feel the need to get into a serious relationship at a young age. They feel as though theyve got their entire lives to find that special someone.





But thats not true for everyone. I know there are many men in this world who was something real, with a side dish of sex. Maybe you should try being single for awhile. Go out to a nice bar or shindig. Do you have any friends who haev ALOT of gay peers? Ask them to throw a little party, and invite all the civilized gay males you can think of. Im sure youd meet alot of people that way. Play the field, but stay single. Mr.Right-For-You will turn up. Dont rush it. You may end up having something you dont want.





Hope this way a slight bit helpful. Good luck hun!
Reread your first paragraph %26amp; think about your statement about you being so intolerant of others ways. This might tell you why so many men leave you. Also reread your third paragraph. It sounds as if this man is not living up to your standards %26amp; you intend to end that relationship. That puts you into the same catagory as the other men who are not ready for a long term relationship. ';LOL'; Good luck.
I feel like I am reading my own words. It sounds like you might make yourself a little too available. You could probably get guys to stay with you longer if you didn't bend over backwards for you, but then again that would only attract the type of guy that you don't need. My advice is to forget about relationships like the one you're in that you know aren't going to work out.





I know how you feel. We have a limited selection as gay men and it is hard to find a decent guy that wants to be in a committed relationship. I can't really give any advice because I'm wondering the same thing. I'm just hoping eventually I'll meet the right guy.